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Posts: 3049
Jan 2, 2008 05:49
LG2MasterMod
spinelli: It is with great feelings of trepidation that i must now pronounce my quest on information concerning mr. Corinthos, sir's bust a bust.
Jason: Ok, you're telling me there's no information on sonny's arrest?
Carly: Why was sonny arrested?
[Jason sighs] Simple assault. He had a disagreement with a guy in an art gallery in the city.
Carly: What was sonny doing in an art gallery? Oh. Let me guess.
Jason: We can't find him anywhere.
Carly: He's still locked up?
Jason: Yeah.
Carly: You know how he gets when he's locked up, jason.
Spinelli: Fear not, valkyrie. The jackal will redouble his efforts and --
jason: You know what? Forget it. You already took your shot, ok?
Spinelli: No, look, i can cross-reference all the collars from the last --
jason: Cross-- just, i'm going to handle it.
Spinelli: Very well.
Carly: I hate to say it, ok, but if sonny got himself arrested because of some stupid stunt he's trying to pull for kate howard, maybe it's exactly what he needs to realize that she's not right for him.
Max: Hey, is that what i think it is?
Spinelli: Just taking a leisurely perusal of the schedule for the city health inspector.
Max: So a surprise visit will no longer be a surprise.
Spinelli: Well, the surprise is that it's today.
Max: Today? Today? We're never going to be ready. We can't just --
spinelli: "Excellent.""Excellent."
Max: What are you doing?
Spinelli: "Excellent" -- i'm just entering our grades -- "excellent" and "excellent." This concludes our surprise health inspection.
Max: What, we passed?
Spinelli: Surpassed. We are now the standard for all coffee houses throughout the municipality.
Max: Great work. I don't have to fix that stupid leak on the espresso machine. Nice. Hey, buddy, you're pretty keyed up, even for you. How many espressos you drink?
Spinelli: Actually, what drives -- what drives me is the desire to fill the vacuum that is my idle mind, lest the winds of remembrance blow thoughts of georgie into my mind. You know, i -- i discovere after her parting that she liked me. [Spinelli chuckles] She liked me a lot more than i knew, and that i had a chance -- that we had a chance, and of course, now that's gone.
Max: Yeah, buddy, that's rough.
Spinelli: Yeah, all -- all i have are her words. By mere chance, they came to me, just like the sweet breath of a lover on your pillow as you dream. And i tried to respond in kind, to actually -- to write a letter back, which, of course, her eyes, like shooting stars, would never see, but, alas, i, the jackal -- the legend of lexicon, i -- i found myself wordless.
Max: That never happens?
Spinelli: Almost as rare as true love, right? And so -- [spinelli sighs] You know, with stone cold lamenting for noble emily and vying for vengeance, i decided that i would, you know, sniff out the trail of the text-message killer. But alas, the rat hides in a maze that i have no map for. And so, as a last resort, i have decided to accept the humble role of reaping red tape that could ensnare stone cold. You know, if i can just remove the simple nuisance of this bureaucratic drive-by, he'll have more time and -- and freedom to focus his mind on things that are most important. So that is what i am going to do.
Max: Great work. Just don't get us caught.
Spinelli: Oh, god, the day that the ace of cyberspace falls prey to a corpulent city capitol pencil pusher is the day they make snow angels in hades. I.E., A cold day in hell-- o. "City health inspector"? Ha-ha!
Health inspector: Is it cold in here, or is it just me?
Spinelli: You --
jason: What sonny and kate do -- it's not my business, carly. It's not your business, either.
Carly: Sonny knows better than to get himself in a tight spot far away from home where his people can't get to him.
Jason: I'm working on it right now.
Carly: He's lost his head over kate -- don't you see that?
Jason: Are you sure it's his
head that you're worried about?
Carly: That's funny. That's really funny. Sonny and i are over, ok, we're history with a capital h. I'm with jax, i'm happy with a capital h.
Jason: Capital h. I get it.
Carly: That doesn't mean that i'm not always going to care about sonny, that i'm not always going to be worried about sonny. Sonny and kate are never going to work. Just like you and elizabeth are never going to work.
Jason: Ok, carly --
carly: Certain women cannot be with certain men.
Jerry: [Foreign accent] this shipment of product is critical. If anything goes wrong, it can break us.
Man: So what do you want me to do?
Jerry: I want you to minimize the risk, starting with stanford johnson.
Man: The guy you sent south?
Jerry: Yes, that's the one. See, we hired him away from the corinthos organization for his logistical prowess. But now that all the pieces are together, he's to be terminated.
Man: His employment?
Jerry: His life. We can't have him go back to his former employer and share trade secrets. You see, he's done in florida, so when the ax falls, my hands remain clean.
Epiphany: Cassius? Cassius! Cassius!
Cassius: Oh -- sorry, nurse johnson. Were you calling me?
Epiphany: Just at the top of my lungs.
Cassius: Oh. Speaking of some beautiful pipes, toussaint dubois and his saints. I mean, you seemed so moved by his music the other day. I went home, downloaded some of his music -- the skinny on it -- his music is tight.
Epiphany: Is it, now?
Cassius: It is.
Epiphany: And will it be as skinny as your wallet when you don't have a job? You can have this back at the end of your shift.
Cassius: Yes, nurse johnson. [Cassius hums]
epiphany: And no humming.
Leyla: It's going to be a long shift.
Nadine: Long year.
Epiphany: 1002 Needs a dressing change. 1006 Needs a sponge bath. 1011 Needs a catheter.
Nadine: What'd you do for new year's, nurse johnson?
Epiphany: I spent new year's eve waiting for my son to call me. And like poor mr. Adelson in 1011, i'm still waiting.
Ric: Do you like this tie?
Skye: Your message said it was urgent. I would've thought you were big enough to dress yourself by now.
Ric: Never mind.
Skye: So tell me, is this business or pleasure?
Ric: Oh, business with you, skye, is always a pleasure. No, i -- i just wanted to reiterate my offer to help you broker the sale of those piers that you inherited from mr. Alcazar.
Skye: Well, both sonny and the zaccharas have shown interest, but i haven't received any hard bids. So tell me, have the dynamics of the market changed?
Ric: Yes, indeed they have.
Skye: I'm listening.
Ric: Well, it appears that sonny has been arrested for assault in new york city. Seeing as how he's otherwise occupied, it's a perfect time to approach the zaccharas.
Skye: Or a perfect time to stick it to your brother-- So, after anthony zacchara stabbed you, i sat with you on what should have been your deathbed and watched your brother bleed for you. But maybe that just further whet your appetite for a pound of sonny's flesh.
Ric: Maybe it did.
Skye: I thought you were done with that vendetta.
Ric: I'm finding it a hard habit to break.
Skye: Hmm. Most addictions are. So you don't forget, i'm one of port charles' original revenge junkies. I realize that no matter how long it took me to get my fix, i still ended up empty and alone.
Ric: You know, maybe you just needed somebody to share the highs with.
Skye: Yes, but with those highs come the inevitable lows. Been there, done that.
Ric: Ok, so what are you doing now? I mean, now that you finished your 12-step program, what's next for you? I mean, you obviously have a wealth of assets.
Skye: Well, the waterfront properties are certainly one of them.
Ric: No, come on, skye, i'm not talking about real estate. You're a bright and beautiful woman and you're obviously trying to start a new life for yourself.
Skye: Well, i'm trying, for my daughter's sake.
Ric: Well, begs a few questions, then, doesn't it?
Skye: Such as?
Ric: Why are you answering my phone calls? Why are you here in my office? Why are you hanging around with an addict like me?
Skye: Maybe i think you need a sponsor.
Ric: Oh. That's sweet. You going to save me?
Skye: Well, you're certainly handsome, brilliant --
ric: Oh --
skye: Dynamic -- hmm.
Ric: Oh, please, no.
Skye: All the traits that play to my weaknesses.
Ric: Yeah.
Skye: Mm-hmm.
Ric: I am good at that.
Skye: Maybe there's a few you haven't really gotten around to, though.
Ric: Well, give me some time. You know, i cleared my entire day.
Skye: So i'm your only meeting?
Ric: Yeah, my only one.
Alexis: Hi.
Maxie: Hi.
Alexis: Thanks for coming.
Maxie: No problem.
Alexis: I'm going to an awards dinner in philadelphia, so i need a dress.
Maxie: Let me guess -- you want something that screams "award winner."
Alexis: I don't know if i want it to scream. Maybe proclaim in a loud voice. Maybe a whisper -- sometimes people hear you better when you're speaking softly. It's too bad kate howard's not here, you know, because i could really use her help.
Maxie: Well, why don't i just show you what we have.
Alexis: Oh, maxie. I'm sorry, honestly. I'm going on about dresses and awards and things and -- are you ok?
Maxie: Well, it's not so bad when i'm not at home. It's walking through the front door that really gets me. Georgie used to wait up to make sure i got home ok.
Alexis: I lost my sister and we weren't nearly as close as you and georgie were. Is your mother around?
Maxie: I'm sure you heard about the funeral.
Alexis: Mothers make mistakes.
Maxie: My mom leaving was not a mistake, it was a choice. She had her life to lead. She didn't want her children getting in the way.
Nikolas: Oh, that was great. Taking that walk with you and spencer was everything i thought i'd never experience again.
Emily: So --
nikolas: Yeah.
Emily: You feeling better?
Nikolas: Uh -- what if i die? What if this thing kills me? Then what?
Emily: Nikolas, your love for me beat cancer. And i truly believe that. And now i'm sitting here beside you. We cheated death.
Nikolas: Oh. What's a little brain tumor, right?
Emily: Yeah. Against our love? Nothing. So, page 243?
Nikolas: Page 243. [luke chuckles] I'm right here, wife. I'm not hiding under the bed. [Chuckles]
luke: What?
Cassius: All right, buddy. Now, you ready?
Luke: Yes, yeah, i'm ready. But i warn you both -- unless you want a lawsuit, my wife thinks that i am marked "handle with care."
Leyla: Oh, always. You're recovering, so you're fragile.
Cassius: All right, this end up.
Luke: Ah, you got that right.
Cassius: Easy -- there we go.
Luke: Thank you.
Cassius: You ok?
Luke: Yeah, good. Thanks, cassius.
Cassius: All right.
Luke: Thank you. Bye. Oh. If you tell me what you're looking for, maybe i can help you find it.
[Monitor beeps]
tracy: Any contraband your little friend ernesto might have smuggled in here.
Luke: You know, if i weren't under strict orders not to get excited, you and i were going to have a big, fat argument.
Tracy: I know you, luke. If you're not cheating, you're not breathing.
Luke: You judge me harshly, wife.
Tracy: I don't have to. Your conscience is doing a perfectly good job in there all by itself.
Luke: "Conscience." Am i talking in my sleep?
Tracy: Not yet.
Luke: But you've been listening.
Tracy: Luke, i keep a very close eye, ear, and nose on you at all times.
Luke: And i wouldn't have it any other way. Come on. [Luke pats bed] Come on. Come to papa.
Tracy: Oh.
Luke: Come on, baby. That's it. Relax.
Tracy: I don't want to lose you.
Luke: Huh. The way you were tossing this room, you'd probably find me if you did.
Tracy: I'm not kidding. I want to grow old with you. Don't even think about it.
Luke: Spanky, there are a lot of more miles left in this old ticker before it's going to stop.
Tracy: But since your heart belongs to me, i want you to take better care of it.
Luke: Ok.
Tracy: I'm going to let you rest.
Luke: Then rest, i shall.
Tracy: Can i get you some water?
Luke: No. No water. No, i'll just sleep. But i could have cassius record all my mumblings so you can listen to me snore. [Luke giggles]
tracy: I love you.
Luke: I love you, too.
Luke: Ha-ha!
Luke: Oh. Hmm. Ah, yeah.
Luke: Mmm.
Luke: Ah. [Luke coughs] [alarm] [luke wheezes] [commotion]
alexis: Ric?
Ric: Yeah, just a minute. Yeah, come in. Alexis.
Alexis: Ah. I didn't mean to interrupt a meeting.
Skye: No, i can go.
Ric: No, no, no.
Alexis: No, don't -- sit. You look very comfortable. So if you're in the middle of a merger of some sort, i don't want to interrupt.
Ric: No, no. Uh, thanks for coming.
Health inspector: Let's see what we have. There is "obtaining unauthorized access to the health department's mainframe, falsifying government documents," and you have a leaky hose under your espresso machine.
Spinelli: Uh, fair and just keeper of the permits, i mean, you have obviously misinterpreted what was in actuality just a foolhardy and innocuous shenanigans. See, i would never, ever endeavor to circumvent the necessary and prudent safeguards of your hallowed code.
Diane: There seems to be a misunderstanding.
Health inspector: I'm very clear on what's going on. Here you go.
Diane: If -- if i may. Mr. Spinelli is a deeply disturbed young man who, while completely harmless, lacks certain social skills.
Spinelli: Well, i --
diane: Don't -- stop. Hmm. Mr. Morgan has taken in and provided for this neer-do-well, who -- [diane chuckles] Without this act of charity would certainly burden an already overburdened system.
Health inspector: Is this true?
Diane: And mr. Morgan will be more than happy to pay any fine that mr. Spinelli's juvenile prank may have incurred.
Health inspector: And for the leaky hose?
Diane: Including the leaky hose, absolutely.
Health inspector: Keep an eye on him.
Jason: No choice.
Diane: Now that we have all that settled, can i ask you a question? Is that scarf a marisol deluna?
Health inspector: It is.
Diane: I recognize good taste. So, if you have to choose a gown to wear to accept a very prestigious award, would you go armani or neela llorente?
Health inspector: Armani.
Diane: Armani? Hmm.
Man: We got a man on stan johnson. As soon as he's clear of witnesses, he's roadkill.
[Phone rings]
elizabeth: 10th Floor, nurse webber. Yes, she is. We've been waiting for your call. Guess who?
Epiphany: Hmm. Well, now, your ears must have been burning. Florida? Now what in god's name are you doing all the -- hmm. Stanford, listen. No, i don't want to fight with you. No, i -- i just want to tell you that i miss you and -- and i love you, and i've made a new year's resolution to always tell you how proud i am of you. Yeah, every day. At least every time you call. Yes. Stanford? Stanford?
Elizabeth: Epiphany?
Epiphany: The -- there was a crash and -- and then the line went dead.
>> On the next "General Hospital" --
man: He committed assault, and he's not going anywhere.
Tracy: Oh, my God. I need help in here!
[Monitor flatlines]
judge luke: Your soul is on trial.
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