Claudia: Sonny goes after what he wants without thinking. It's bad business. You know it is. It's how you get killed.

Jason: Just stop talking.

Claudia: Or what?

Jason: I'll leave.

Claudia: You're just mad. You're mad because you know that i'm right. I'll bet you that you've always been there for sonny. And you asked him to do one thing for you that was important to you, and he failed.

Coleman: Hello, girls. Kelly and lainey: Hi.

Coleman: The usual today?

Lainey: Yes, thank you.

Kelly: Yeah.

Coleman: How would you like for me to put your drinks on baby daddy's tab?

Robin: Yes.

Coleman: It's on baby daddy.

Robin: All right.

[Robin laughs]

Robin: In the meantime, you can fill in kelly and lainey about what you were saying about my mom. What did you call her? A butt-kicking fantasy woman, right? And then there's the baby mama.

Lainey: Baby mama?

[Robin laughs]

Robin: That would be me.

Lainey: Ooh.

Kelly: Nice work. Nice work.

Lainey: Ooh!

Kelly: Woo!

Lainey: Just like old time.

Kelly: Yeow.

Robin: I wish i could kill that bottle with you. Maybe i could forget about the fact that the father of my child is hot for my mom.

Patrick: All right, stop. Ladies, i did not say that.

Robin: You know, i wish i'd known sooner. I would've got her number for you.

Patrick: Look, you know what? As you have said on many occasions, anna is beautiful and she's exciting and i simply agree, ok? So there we go. She's your mother, she's my baby's grandmother, and you know what? I'm out.

Kelly: Well, she's all --

[laughter]

Coleman: What do you need, gorgeous?

Robin: I would like a lemonade and a double order of fries. You know, if i can't drink, i'm going to have to drown my sorrows in carbs.

Coleman: You got it.

Robin: Thank you.

Lainey: You know, i don't want to interrupt your carb overload, but honestly, your situation really isn't that dire.

Robin: How do you figure?

Lainey: Do you know that men are often attracted to the mothers of the women they love?

Kelly: No.

Lainey: Yeah.

Cassius: You need some help?

Leyla: Yeah, dr. Devlin wants his charts in ascending order by date.

Cassius: Ok, why?

Leyla: I have no idea. I was in there assisting with spinelli, who really is a strange guy, by the way.

Cassius: Don't i know it.

Leyla: And next thing you know, he ordered some tests and gives me this assignment and practically boots me out the door.

Cassius: Is that right?

Leyla: Yeah.

Epiphany: Who do you have dr. Devlin's charts all over my work station?

Spinelli: You can't cover his face.

Maxie: Someone's going to recognize him.

Spinelli: It'll make him look dead which will create suspicion and attract attention.

Maxie: Move, move, move.

Spinelli: Where's the psych ward?

Maxie: Turn, turn.

Epiphany: What are you staring at?

Leyla: I thought i recognized someone, but i must be imagining things.

Epiphany: I need details, nurse mir.

Leyla: Why is spinelli dressed like a doctor and pushing away a gurney at warp speed?

Epiphany: Yeah.

Claudia: Sonny is too selfish to ever return your loyalty.

Jason: Why do you keep pushing this?

Claudia: Because you saved my life. That means you're good. You're too good to work for a man like that, to work for somebody that i despise.

Jason: Why -- why would i care what you think?

Claudia: I'm right. You blame yourself for little michael getting shot because you know what a selfish bastard sonny really is. You know careless he is. You knew. He couldn't protect that little boy. What? You going to leave me now? You're going to leave me in here by myself? You're going to get shot.

Jason: I'll take my chances.

Jax: At least carly's starting to edge out of complete denial. She realizes michael won't be playing baseball this summer. She also acknowledges that he might have some brain damage and he might need therapy. But she still thinks he's going to wake up.

Jerry: Can you blame her? Michael's her child, her firstborn. I mean, if i were in michael's spot, i expect lady jane to want to smother me with a pillow and i can't blame her.

Jax: No.

Jerry: Yes, yes. But if it were you, you know, would you -- would you want our mother to give up hope?

Jax: I'd want her to go on living, not sacrifice her life for me. I mean, carly's talking about bringing michael home. I'm afraid that she will devote every second of the day to taking care of him. And what's that going to do to morgan? I mean, how's it -- how's it going to be for morgan having his comatose brother down the hall?

Jerry: Hey.

Jax: Hey, you ready to go to bed? I'm going to tuck you in. Come on, let's go. I'll see you later, jerry.

Jerry: See you later. Nice pajamas.

[Knock on door]

Jerry: Hello.

Alexis: Why are you here? Is michael ok?

Jerry: No, no, there's no change.

Alexis: You know, this is awful. I -- i haven't even been able to explain it to kristina yet.

Jerry: No, no, the one person you need to help at the moment is jax.

Kate: I left my pda when i was here earlier and bringing it back seemed an insurmountable task for lulu.

Sonny: Kate, it wasn't her fault.

Kate: She was here?

Sonny: Yeah, she came by to pick up the pda and... She saw something that distracted her. She talks tough, like her dad, you know, and like michael used to when he used to imitate my voice. It's amazing. Kids don't know half of what they say. They just want to be like their parent.

Kate: Did something happen, sonny?

Sonny: Yeah, my kid got shot. I screamed at another kid. Now lulu is not going to listen to me. She's going to do the exact opposite of what i want her to do. It's just -
[sonny groans]

Kate: You look tired.

Sonny: I'm tired. I'm tired of -- i'm tired of all of it.

Kate: Can you fix it tonight?

Sonny: My life... That i stole and killed for?

Sonny: I can't fix it. I can't fix anything.

Kate: Ok. So, how about, just for a little while -- just for a little while... You let it go? Stop looking for blame, punishment. Just let yourself rest.

Sonny: I don't deserve you. I don't deserve --

Kate: Hey, guess what? You got me anyway.

Robin: You should have heard patrick go on and on about my mother. I mean, how could i ever compare to anna devane? I'm never wearing a catsuit ever again.

Kelly: You never wore a catsuit before.

Lainey: Wait, you own a catsuit?

Kelly: I do.

Lainey: Well, of course you do.

Robin: The point is that i am not an action figure and i'm definitely not some guy's fantasy.

Kelly: You know, gun-toting, karate-kicking, female super spies, they're a turn-on for a lot of men. I mean, just ask any guy who's ever been to a james bond movie, you know?

Lainey: Listen, mothers and daughters often share traits. Not just in appearance, but, you know, personality as well. So it would stand to reason that if a man is in love with a daughter that he might be drawn to a mother with similar attributes.

Robin: Well, that would be comforting if i was anything like my mother. I mean, she's this super sexy spy who's probably crossing some hostile border right now with a fake name and jumping out of a helicopter tomorrow morning. I mean, i'm just a workaholic doctor whose idea of a wild night is ordering a double batch of fries. I mean, let's face it. I'm boring, and now i'm fat. I'm pregnant and i'm boring. No wonder my baby daddy has the hots for my mom.

Lainey and kelly: Oh.

Robin: Drink for me, please.

Diane: If you don't stand up to sonny, then he will always and only think about you as his ever-faithful, endlessly loya bodyguard whom he can run roughshod over anytime he chooses.

Max: It's just, he's under a lot of stress right now. I don't want to add it by --

Diane: But, max, that's my point. He should be concentrating on his own life, not ours. We are consenting adults. We don't need his permission to see each other.

Max: But we do need our jobs.

Diane: Oh, max, max, max. You know, there comes a time in every man's life when he has to decide what is important, a paycheck or his piece of mind?

Max: So you're saying you don't care if you get fired by sonny?

Diane: No, no. Yes, there are many perks to being sonny's attorney. I will admit that. A closet full of couture is but one of them. But now i have my own relationship with kate howard. I can get samples any time i need them. I don't need sonny's help and you don't need his interference. So what's it going to be, max? You going to man up?

Max: Oh.Check, please.

[Diane laughs]

diane: Yeah, yeah.

Alexis: I'm here because jax asked me to review a legal matter.

Jerry: He's upstairs with morgan who's having a really bad time of it. Would you like a glass of wine? It's open.

Alexis: Sure.

Jerry: Ok.

Alexis: Just don't drop anything.

Jerry: Oh, come on, it was a $5,000 chip. What did you think i was going to do with it? Throw it in the garbage?

Alexis: Well, i should have known better. It was my fault.
I got down on the floor which is where you thrive.

Jerry: That's true. I mean, come on, it was a kiss under the table. I can't believe it was your first.

Alexis: What kind of woman do you think that i am?

Jerry: Well, i'm about to find out. But first of all, jax is more important, ok?

Alexis: My, my, you're so versatile. One moment you're flirting, the next minute you're rude and inappropriate and then you're just decent.

Jerry: Oh, come on, why is it so hard to believe that i love my brother?

Alexis: Your history of amoral criminal behavior.

Jerry: What about the cassadines? Don't the cassadines have a long history of murder, intrigue etc.? Perhaps we're not really that different.

Alexis: We are very different in a similar sort of way. You -- you are a very, very bad idea.

Jerry: Well, i can't disagree.

Alexis: However, i may flirt with you. I may even get down on the floor with you when i choose to. But that's as far as it's going to go.

Jerry: Cheers to that. I love the image, though.

Maxie: Why are you bringing us down here? There has to be a better place to find a computer terminal. Spinelli, this is so disgusting.

Spinelli: Look, i just need to book a padded cell for our somnolent prisoner and we'll be on our way.

Maxie: Ok, well then, i am out of here because i never agreed to cart around a doctor through an entire hospital and end up in the morgue.

Spinelli: It'll be just a minute, ok?

Maxie: Ok, well, what if he wakes up or something? You know, we really should just get out of here. You probably should just call

Jason and let him handle it.

Spinelli: No, no, no, no.

[Maxie squeals]

Epiphany: What the hell is going on here? Why are you two in the morgue impersonating hospital personnel?

Maxie: What does it take to get a little privacy around this hospital? I mean, after all the hours i volunteered, pushing that book cart, handing out those meals trays, helping little kids --

Epiphany: Where's the gurney? And don't tell me you weren't pushing one. Where is it?

Maxie: On the north service elevator. And all those sheets were just made to look like a patient. That's how desperate we were for privacy. So if you think, maybe this one time, you could just turn your head so i could get romantic with spinelli?

Epiphany: In the morgue?

Maxie: Yeah, well, sex is, like, the ultimate affirmation of life and joy so -- i mean, the morgue seemed like the right idea.

Epiphany: Don't you go anywhere near that computer and don't you say one more word to disrespect me or the dead in this place or i will personally haul you into the chief of staff's office and you can explain to him why you are making a mockery of this hospital and these poor souls who have gone on to meet their maker. Now get out of here. Go!

Lulu: I didn't think you'd come after what happened.

Johnny: Well, you called. It's the least i could do.

Lulu: I didn't follow you to sonny's, if that's what you were thinking.

Kate asked me to go get her pda.

Johnny: What do you want, lulu?

Lulu: If something bad happens, you're supposed to forget it, right? If there's nothing you can do, if you can't change anything --

Johnny: What do you want?

Lulu: How am i supposed to forget that you tried to kill sonny?

Alexis: How's morgan?

Jax: Well... I don't know what to say to him. You know, he can't understand the truth and carly doesn't want to hear it.

Alexis: What about specialists?

Jax: Well, they're running their tests, but there is nothing they can really change. And in the meantime, carly's only been home a few hours since the shooting. Morgan's asking questions. He wants to go to the hospital to visit michael. Carly wants to bring him home. I want to help everyone, of course, but there's nothing i can do.

Alexis: You're here. You're doing everything. You sat with carly all day. You're going out of your way to bring in any specialists that's necessary --

Jax: It's not enough. That's why i brought you here. I want you to draw up paperwork for sonny to renounce all parental rights to michael and morgan.

Alexis: What would be the point?

Jax: Look, it -- he's a disaster, ok? He's already destroyed michael's life and i won't let that happen to morgan. I want to adopt both my stepsons.

Kate: I'm just so worried about you, sonny.

Sonny: I know you want me to walk away somehow, and not go after the people who did this to my son, but i got to tell you, i can't -- i can't. That's not going to happen. And it doesn't mean i don't love you. It doesn't mean i don't respect your opinion. It doesn't mean that, you know, i don't want you in my life.

Kate: Ok, ok. We don't have to solve all that right now.

Sonny: Can i tell you something? Will you listen to me? Johnny zacchara tried to kill me tonight. He shot me point blank. And it's just a freak accident or a miracle that i'm still alive.

Lulu: Sonny doesn't have claudia. He doesn't even know where she is.

Johnny: Is that what he told you?

Lulu: He's grieving. He -- he was goading you to shoot him.

Johnny: I don't care. The truth is i want sonny dead. And the only reason i stopped shooting tonight is because of you.

Maxie: If epiphany catches us down here again, she's going to do worse than turn us in to dr. Ford. She's going to call my dad.

Spinelli: Fear not. The jackal is a master of stealth.

Maxie: Ok, well, why can't we just leave ian here and have jason take care of it?

[Whizzing sound]

Spinelli: Wait.

Maxie: Is that a saw?

Spinelli: The type a coroner would use on a corpse.

Maxie: Stop!

Spinelli: He's alive!

Man: Drop the knife.

Claudia: Ok, look, whatever my father is paying you, i will double it.

Man: You're going to die anyway. But first, what do you say we have a little fun?

[Grunts]

Jason: Let her go.

Man: Drop the gun or she dies.


>> On the Next "General Hospital" --

Kate: You can end this.

Sonny: Johnny zacchara tried to kill me. I'm going to kill him.

[Grunting]