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Posts: 1278
Jun 18, 2008 03:05
Liasonite Lynda Liason History Queen
Tuesday June 17, 2008 - Part 1 Sam: It could be worse.
Lucky: I don't see how.
Sam: Well, let's seeat least they didn't strip search us. You know, I -- I don't see any rats running around.
Lucky: Yet.
[Lucky laughs]
Sam: Well, at least he didn't put us in separate cells.
Lucky: I'm sure they will soon, unless we make a break for it.
Johnny: I hope you're not following me.
Maxie: Get over yourself.
Johnny: Oh, you seem mad.
Maxie: You wouldn't get it.
Johnny: You're probably right.
Maxie: Have you ever been to florence? I hear it has its own palace.
Johnny: Yeah, the palazzo medici.
Maxie: And a bridge that made it through some world war or something?
Johnny: Pontevecchio.
Maxie: Michelangelo's "david." I know about that one, probably because he's naked.
Johnny: Ok, what's going on here?
Maxie: My sister georgie, she got accepted in a foreign exchange program, all expenses paid, free ride. It's just exactly what she wanted. You'd say the word "italy" and georgie would light up, but she can't go because she's dead. Georgie, who had everything -- she was smart and kind and wonderful. I just -- I don't think that's fair. I was a pretty lousy sister, selfish, only cared about myself, but georgie, she -- she knew me better than anyone and she loved and accepted me anyway. She's the only person who really did that. You probably wouldn't understand.
Johnny: Actually, I would.
[Spinelli giggles]
Jason: Get your hands off him.
Claudia: In case you didn't notice, he's on top of me.
Spinelli: Oh, stone cold. Oh, stone -- cldia: Whoa!
Spinelli: Greetings. Um, the jackal, uh, that is, damian -- we all feel most peculiar.
Jason: You're drunk.
Claudia: Which was your first clue?
Alexis: It's hard to imagine the screaming hypocrisy of the two of you reuniting in the face of michael's tragedy.
Jax: Alexis --
Alexis: No, you listen to me. You're important to me and so are you. You should remove yourself from this nightmare before sonny and carly ruin your lives like they've ruined mine.
Lucky: So how is your,ike, hip? Do you think you could make a run for it?
Sam: Oh, my hip is fine and happy or sadly enough, I am an d pro at jailbreaks and I've got a plan and it's fool proof.
[Lucky groans]
Sam: Don't argue, please.
Lucky: Well, I can't argue because I haven't heard it yet.
Sam: Ok, listen. I think that first what you do is we're going to yell for the guard, ok? And you're going to say, "hey guard, my girlfriend's feeling really sick and she's acting all fever" --
Sam: Come on, you're going to argue with me already?
Lucky: No, it's that you said "girlfriend." You never sathat back home.
Sam: Oh, of course, that's just because nobody likes the fact that we're together.
Lucky: Well, we're going to start ignoring them, right?
Sam: Ok.
Lucky: Go on, just tell me your story.
Sam: Ok, so and then I'm going to act all sick, and I'm going to -- I'm going to go over there and I'm going to, like --
[Sam coughs]
Sam: Like feverish and sick, and then I'm going to open my blouse --
Lucky: Whoa, hey -- hey, I'm not -- I'm not liking this all of a sudden.
Sam: Lucky, it's called cleavage and it's the best weapon we've got, so listen to me, please. Please, listen to me. It's going to work. So while I'm distracting the guard, and I'm like --
[Sam whines]
Sam: [Normal voice] Then you come in and you knock him out and we make a run for it.
Lucky: No, it's too risky.
Sam: Come on, do you have a better idea?
Lucky: Not yet, but you got me thinking.
Sam: Ok, good, because we need to be thinking. And I'm thinking so I'm the one who got us into this mess, let me help get --
Lucky: No, actually, my father got us into this.
Sam: I started the bar fight. Lucky, please, I have done this before, please. I know it's going to work. Trust me. Please?
Lucky: Ok, ok, go for it.
Sam: Ok, watch.
Lucky: Mm-hmm, yeah.
Sam: Guard!
Lucky: Guard, we need help!
Alexis: Clearly, you two are on your way to forgiving each other for what happened to michael and are on your way to destroying someone else.
Carly: I understand you're upset about kristina, but that's not your kid laying in a coma.
Alexis: My kid is in constant danger because sonny is her father. You were worried enough to have your kids taken away from him, yet you won't lift a finger to help min
Sonny: Alexis, if you want to take your anger out on me, go ahead. Leave carly out of it.
Alexis: That's unbelievable. You're more protective of her than you are your own daughter.
Sonny: Why you do -- what do you mean -- what are you talking about? Why are you even doing this?
Alexis: Don't forget that I'm the one that was sane enough all along to say that something like this would happen to the children, so don't you dare talk to me like I'm paranoid.
Jerry: Alexis, they've heard what needed to be said. We're going.
Alexis: Please, don't tell me what to do.
Jerry: There's nothing more to be gained. We're going now.
Alexis: How can you be any worse than the mistakes I've already made.
Jerry: Come on.
Giselle: My, that certainly was dramatic. Was there any truth to what she said?
Maxie: I miss georgie every day, but getting this letter in the mail, it just reminded how she's not here living the wonderful life I know she would have.
Johnny: I don't know what I'd do if I lost my sister.
Maxie: Here, look. "Dear miss jones, we're pleased to offer a full scholarship to our foreign exchange program in florence, italy. We select 10 students from over 500 applicants." She was so smart.
Lulu: What is wrong with you? Why do I keep finding you th her?
Johnny: Maxie did not follow me here.
Lulu: Oh, you cannot honestly believe that.
Maxie: I came here to be alone and I think your boyfriend had the same idea.
Lulu: Really? You have been hitting on johnny for weeks, doing everything that you can to get his attention.
Johnny: Ok, lulu, I know you don't like maxie, but you just -- just let her explain.
Lulu: Let her lie, you mean? Because everything maxie does is for an agenda.
Maxie: You got me. I made this whole thing up. I created this phony acceptance letter for georgie to some brainiac college in italy, all so I could use my dead sister to hit on the guy that you're dating.
Spinelli: Oh, thank you.
Jason: How much did you have to drink?
Spinelli: Damian had a vodka with -- or three. But it was just a -- it was just a prop, an appendage to his elegant persona.
Jason: Your what?
Spinelli: When -- damian's job was to charm the rival fashionista, but then the jackal reared his socially inept head and all --
Claudia: He's been babbling like this since I found him on the elm street pier.
Spinelli: Yeah, yeah, yeah, vixenella was most surprisingly helpful tonight after your grasshopper found himsf inexplicably on the pier without a memory as to how to get home. She -- she rendered him aid and comfort.
Jason: What did you do to him?
Claudia: Nothing. I found him like this on the pier. He was going to lay down and sleep there. I thought he'd be a sitting duck for muggers, so I --
Spinelli: No, damian can hold his liquor. Alas, the jackal cannot. Oh.
Jason: Why -- why were you drinking vodka?
Spinelli: To appear relaxed, you know, nonchalant and all? Oh, um, damian -- damian projected style, class, and he had an australian accent.
Jason: What? Stop it. Y do you keep saying damian?
Spinelli: Damian's me. Well, he was for a brief and shining moment until disaster struck.
Jax: It's a complicated situation, but the woman who just left is kind of my ex-wife.
Giselle: She was very upset.
Jax: Yes, she was.
Kate: She probably picked the wrong time to air her grievances.
Giselle: It certainly livened up the evening.
Jax: It is getting late. Rhaps we should iron out the details of the "crimson" preview in the next issue of "couture"?
Kate: Yes, those details. Why don't we go back to the office?
Giselle: But what about your wife and your boyfriend? Should we bring them along?
Jax: Sonny will give carly a ride home.
Giselle: Then lead the way.
Sonny: You didn't say good-bye to jax.
Carly: I -- I guess I'll see him when I g home. You didn't run over and say good-bye to kate.
Sonny: Well, they're working, you know.
Carly: Working -- we don't exactly fit into that, do we?
Lucky: Help, guard! We need some help!
[Sam moans]
Sam: I don't feel good.
[Sam groans] Guard: Sammy mccall? You dirty, no good swindler. You got a lot of guts coming here after what you pulled, huh?
Sam: Quintana, how the hell have you been? Guard: Better than you, by the looks of it, sammy.
Lucky: You two know each other?
Sam: Yes, I'm -- sorry. Francisco quintana, lucky. Lucky, francisco. He helped captain the very first ship I ever worked on. Taught me everything I know, by the way. What are you doing in a mexican jail cell? Francisco: Ah, pues, the wife told me to settle down, get a good, safe job. Not so good, huh, if you're trying to distract me while he beats me up, though, huh?
Lucky: Oh, that was my idea. I put sam up to it.
Sam: Yeah, you know -- francisco: You're very, very gullible, huh?
[Francisco laughs]
Sam: Come on, you're going t help us out, aren't you? Francisco: Sure.
Sam: Yes.
Lucky: What? Francisco: But you're going to have to buckle up your blouse there before I let you out.
Sam: Yes -- yes, sir. Oh, I'm sorry. It's embarrassing.
Lucky: Here, put this --
Sam: I know, I --
Lucky: Yeah, you do that.
Sam: Yeah, I've got it.
Lucky: Thank you.
[Sam squeals]
Sam: I owe you one. I owe you one. Francisco: Si, si si.
Sam: Thank you, thank you. Francisco: And don't worry about the paperwork.
Sam: Come on, let's go.
Jason: Since when do you worry about spinelli?
Claudia: I felt sorry for the guy, ok? He was acting crazy at t haunted star and talking --
Jason: Yeah, what were you doing at the haunted star?
Spinelli: I told you, I was charming the rival fashionista.
Claudia: He was gambling with jasper jacks and kate howard and some other woman and talking in that fake australian accent.
Spinelli: Yeah, the -- the valkyrie's white knight took pity on the jackal and taught him the secret of woo.
Jason: Secret of what?
Spinelli: Woo. Wooing.
Spinelli: Wooing and winning the female -- the female heart. He taught me -- he taught me how to -- he taught me how to stand and -- stand and speak and -- and talk and -- and hold a drink. And lo and behold, it worked. I was transformed. I was transformed into damian. And I -- I impressed. I entertained. I charmed. And then, at the most crucial moment, the masquerade failed.
[Spinelli whines]
Jason: What happened?
Spinelli: The details are too painful to recount.
Claudia: From what I understand, some girl showed up and --
Spinelli: Yes, the fairest of the fair, highly ever unattainable.
Claudia: I guess spinelli saw her and lost his nerve and dropped the accent and then got drunk.
Spinelli: Trying in vain to drown my sorrows.
Claudia: And then, I don't know, he ended up on the elm street pier, which is where i found him, and I brought him home.
Jason: Why?
Lulu: I'm sorry, I didn't -- i didn't know that this was about georgie.
Maxie: You can stuff your apology and your phony sympathy. You stole my sister's first love and then you kept spinelli dangling when you knew georgie was falling in love with him.
Lulu: I didn't know that georgie had -- mae: You steamrolled over my sister every single chance you got. Sorry to fill you in that your sweet little lulu isn't as nice as you thought.
Lulu: Yes, I hurt -- I hurt georgie, but I was completely wrong for doing it.
Maxie: Now you're "oh, so sorry" as long as johnny's watching?
Lulu: Georgie and I made peace. She forgave me, just like she forgave you for all the dumb stuff that you did.
Maxie: Georgie was a much better person than me.
Lulu: Uh, I can't imagine what you're thinking.
Johnny: I'm wondering why you don't trust me.
Sonny: Is alexis always that hard on you?
Carly: She refuses to believe that I have no influence with you.
Sonny: Well, you know, she's worried about kristina.
Carly: No, she's mad at herself for having your child. She still can't take responsibility for what she did all those years ago -- sleeping with you. See, it's all our fault. We misled her. We're dysfunctional. It's on and on and on --
Sonny: And I know that alexis doesn't make it easy, but I try my hardest for kristina's sake.
Carly: Why did you defend me?
Sonny: Well, here's the deal. Michael's in a coma. We miss him very much. It's like a physical pain. I didn't feel like sitting here listening to alexis attack you.
Carly: Hey, thank you.
Sonny: We both know that she is wrong about something else. We're, you know, we're not getting back together.
Sam: Ouch. Ok.
Lucky: Are you sure this is the place?
Sam: Yeah, I mean, I don't know, lucky. Assuming I'm right and the numbers on your father's note correspond to longitude and latitude, then yeah, this is the spot, yes.
Lucky: There's just no cabin.
Sam: Well, don't know. Maybe your father's camping out. He does have good survival skills, yeah?
Lucky: Yeah, the best. When I was a kid on the run with my parents, we, like, camped out in like 10 different countries, including snow camping in finland.
Sam: Whoa.
Lucky: You know what we should do? We should look for some cigar butts or some empty bottles.
Sam: That's a good idea.
Sam: Oh, come on, lucky, please, there's no sign of him or anyone else. Maybe I did it wrong. Maybe it's not the right spot.
Lucky: Yeah or maybe dad, he's just like a hundred miles away, you know, sampling the local tequila.
Sam: Well --
Sam: I'm not complaining. This to me is a whole lot better than sitting in some jail cell.
Claudia: What is your problem? Is it so hard to just say thank you?
Spinelli: The jackal offers his sincerest thanks.
Claudia: That's ok, spinelli, I'm talking to jason. Let him answer.
Spinelli: Okie-dokie.
Claudia: I found spinelli drunk and disoriented on the pier. I tried to help him out. Is that so hard for you to understand?
Spinelli: Vixenella did a good deed.
Jason: You wanted me to owe you.
[Claudia scoffs]
Claudia: Did it ever occur to you, jason, that I owe you for saving my life and maybe helping your friend was my way of saying thank you?
Spinelli: Not everything vixenella does has an ulterior motive.
Claudia: You know, for all your tough-guy attitude, maybe your grasshopper here has more common sense than you do.
Spinelli: Would you like to break bread with us?
Jason: No --
Claudia: Did you just invite me to dinner?
Spinelli: Well, see, the room is starting to -- to rotate in a most alarming manner, and I just thought maybe some carbohydrates might be --
Claudia: Oh, you have the spins. Honey, you need something greasy and full of carbs. You better order a pizza before damian yaks all over your floor.
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