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Posts: 3051
Jan 11, 2009 12:13
LG2MasterMod
Carly: Do it. If Sonny wants power so badly he's willing to work with Anthony Zacchara, give him back the organization.
Jason: I can't, Carly. I don't trust him to run things, not right now. I mean, this whole -- this whole Karpov thing doesn't even make any sense. There's something wrong. It's too easy. And the only thing Sonny wants right now is revenge. He doesn't care about anything else.
Carly: I know, and he is going to keep going and --
Jason: No, he's going to start a war with Karpov. And how am I supposed to hand things back over to him knowing that? It's like giving a kid a loaded gun.
Jason: Sorry.
Carly: It's okay.
Jason: Sonny thinks I don't want to let go of the power. It's the exact opposite. I wish I could just walk away from everything. But I can't. You know? I have an obligation.
Carly: No. I know that you started all of this because of me. And I want you to know that I'm okay. I'm okay. I have custody of Morgan. I want you to do what's best for you.
Luke: I'm back.
Tracy: Really?
Luke: Yeah.
Tracy: And here I was so sure you'd be halfway to Cancun with your little tortilla chippy.
Luke: Do you want to discuss this back at the cantina over libations and guacamole? Or do you want to talk about it here, with the iron bars and the effluvia of about a thousand drunks sleeping it off in this tank? It kind of kills the mood for me, but hey, it's your party.
Tracy: First, you tell me exactly what you did to your little pop-tart to get her to bail you out?
Luke: You want the truth?
Tracy: Of course I want the truth, you idiot.
Luke: Okay, okay, okay. I rescued her from a really bad card game.
Tracy: Oh.
Luke: No, listen. If I were making it up, I'd make it a lot more colorful. It might involve say, oh, doing body shots off some gorgeous spy hanging upside down on a trapeze.
Tracy: That was Anna, you idiot.
Luke: Look, whatever. You may have noticed that the senorita was very, very beautiful. But she's a lousy card player. Now if she got herself involved in a high stakes card game with a bunch of nasty characters who are determined to take her very last peso and whatever else of hers they can get their hands on -- I saw her plight. I bought into the game, and I snaked the guys out of their money and hers. After the game broke up, I gave her her money back -- for a favor to be named later. And that favor is exactly what she just delivered on. Now, we can stay here, and we can argue about this, or we can vamoose before the Federales come up with some more charges. What do you think?
Trevor: Bad idea to see Lulu out at Shadybrook today.
Johnny: You having me followed now?
Trevor: What do you expect? You go out in the harbor, and you play chicken with Jason Morgan's ships. Stuff like that could bring repercussions. Johnny, some of the choices that you make often have bigger consequences than you think. That's why I've been monitoring Lulu's situation at Shadybrook's since she got checked in.
Johnny: Since when do you care about Lulu's well-being?
Trevor: I care about you. Never forget I was the one who brought you up, and I've always protected you. Sure Anthony and I seem to be on the outs for the moment. But nobody ever lives forever. And sooner or later, you're going to be in charge. You don't need Lulu Spencer to drag you down.
Spinelli: Mental disorders are broken down into three different categories -- well, main categories. The first one is anxiety disorder -- like phobias such as irrational fears of situations or things. Like clowns, for instance, would strike fear into the most stout-hearted man.
Maxie: Spinelli.
Spinelli: Yeah, okay, the next one is mood disorders, which is where your symptoms fall. Depression, fatigue, and in your case, I think an uncommonly big heart. See, I'm of the humble opinion that is your depth of care and sorrow which has led to emotional exhaustion or a mental breakdown. But there is no sign of psychotic disorder, which is the third and most dire category. No schizophrenia or multiple personality.
Lulu: I guess I should be thankful for small favors.
Maxie: The point is, miss sorrow and pity, if this is your one and only personality, you can't be using handwriting that is not yours, right?
Spinelli: Yes, it is most unlikely.
[Computer beeps]
Spinelli: And if the blond ones would gaze at the program that I have brought up here, it's a comparison of your handwriting with that of the infamous note. Okay? Observe the author's struggle to maintain verticality. See, the narrow and --
Maxie: The two samples of handwriting do not match.
Spinelli: That's what I was saying. Yes.
Lulu: So if Spinelli is right --
Maxie: Of course Spinelli's right. It's Spinelli.
Lulu: Oh, my God. It means I'm not as crazy as I thought.
Spinelli: I'm reluctant to spoil one happy realization with one a little less felicitous, but it also means that someone is really trying to blackmail you.
Elizabeth: Three guesses who that one's from.
Nadine: I wrapped it myself.
[Laughter]
Robin: Oh.
Patrick: What is it?
Robin: It's so cute.
Everyone: Ohh.
Epiphany: Now there's a surprise.
Nadine: I was hoping no one else would get you one.
Kelly: No chance of that.
Robin: Thank you, Nadine. It's so sweet and soft. The baby's going to love it.
Coleman: All right, look -- I don't know much about baby gifts, but -- so I got the bride one.
Coleman: Well, actually, it's a kind of more for the groom.
Robin: Well, then, you should open that.
Patrick: All right, then.
[Cheers and laughter]
Patrick: I don't know how these things -- I can't even hold them up.
Coleman: It's not like you two are going to be pregnant forever, right?
Patrick: Well, it's so sweet and so soft.
Kelly: Okay, I have a question. And please don't take this the wrong way. But why Coleman?
Coleman: In a way, I wondered the same thing. I really did.
Patrick: Come here.
Coleman: Excuse me.
Patrick: This guy here -- our relationship -- the part that didn't play out in the hospital played out here. You know, we've had our fights, and he's seen them all. He's seen the reconciliations. I think I punched him at least twice.
Coleman: I think once. [Laughter] Which is why you pay double for drinks.
Patrick: He's listened to me ramble, and he's actually offered some insightful words of wisdom at times.
Coleman: My pleasure, man.
Patrick: In short, he's been a good friend and an able bartender. And as a guy, you know, what else can you ask for?
Everyone: Aww.
Robin: And he has great fashion sense. Here, here.
Everyone: Cheers.
Bartender: No, no, no, no, no. Ustedes no son bienvenidos aqui.
Luke: What do you mean I'm not welcome? I'm your most faithful customer.
Bartender: You cause too much trouble. The Federales are harassing me more than ever.
Luke: All right, wife, give him a little something to compensate him for his pain and suffering. I'm tapped out. I bailed you out of jail, remember?
Tracy: Ugh.
Luke: Come on. Okay, now with this, we expect the five-star service. And I want a grande tequila.
Tracy: You don't need a grande tequila. You need a grande soda.
Luke: Don't listen to her.
Bartender: She's the one with the money, amigo.
Luke: You know, we are no longer amigos, amigo. And I've hit my quota of virtue, darling.
Tracy: Did you actually just use the word virtue in reference to yourself?
Luke: I certainly did. I think it was very virtuous of me -- thank you -- to turn down all that gratitude from that luscious babe and instead bail you out of jail. And here we are in a holding pattern waiting for your no-account father to fix the charges so that I can go back over the border.
Tracy: Don't worry about my father. He will get it all taken care of, otherwise his internet dating history will make it to every member of his club.
Luke: Well, in that case -- while we're waiting, I deserve a libation.
Tracy: You need a clear head to help Lulu.
Luke: It's a long way back to Port Charles. I have plenty of time to clear my head.
Tracy: You know, Luke, this level of excess is extreme even for you. What brought on this binge?
Luke: You have to ask?
Spinelli: Ockham's razor.
Maxie: Why are you thinking about shaving at a time like this? We're supposed to be helping Lulu figure out who's blackmailing her.
Spinelli: I don't actually really have to shave that often. No, um, Ockham's razor is a principle of logic attributed to a 14th century Franciscan friar, William of Ockham. It states that when competing theories are equal in other respects, the simplest one is the best.
Maxie: Well, duh. And as I was saying, Lulu admitted to killing Logan in front of a whole bunch of people and no one believed her.
Lulu: That we know of.
Spinelli: Yeah, but I advise we stick to what we do know.
Maxie: Okay. A courtroom of people saw her lose her marbles.
Spinelli: What about motive? What would someone have to gain?
Maxie: This is not about money.
Lulu: When is anything not about money when it comes to you?
Maxie: Clearly you're feeling better.
Lulu: I'm sorry. I didn't mean --
Maxie: Yes, you did. But it's fine. I'm a true capitalist. I know a good business deal when I see it, which is why I think we jumped to a bogus assumption, one that really would've ticked Mr. Ockham off -- who, by the way, picked a pretty lame name for his principal of logic.
Spinelli: The bogus assumption though?
Maxie: Oh, that this is blackmail, because the note didn't ask for money. It didn't even hint at it. I think it did exactly what it was intended to do -- upset you and make you feel guilty.
Lulu: Who would want to do that?
Man: May I help you, sir?
Jax: I'm very impressed with how quickly you turned this around.
Woman: Well, I hate to disappoint. That would be no way to start a new relationship.
Jax: I have an eye for talent.
Woman: I can't take all the credit. That was a very creative approach you suggested.
Jax: I think this calls for some champagne.
Robin: Okay, am I the only one that sees the irony here?
Kelly: Probably. Hmm, why don't you share?
Robin: Well, all of you are -- you know, you've given me great advice. And, uh, you're excited about me getting married, but I look around this table, and none of you are married.
Epiphany: Mm-hmm.
Elizabeth: Well, it's not like I haven't tried.
Nadine: I think every woman would like to believe that it's possible.
Epiphany: Not me. Just when I was getting close, the man went off to be with his son.
[All groan]
Nadine: Ew.
Kelly: Not good.
Nadine: Well, I -- I, for one, would like to be in love like all of you someday.
Epiphany: Someday? Didn't I catch you carving a certain prince's initials into your pudding the other day in the cafeteria?
Robin: Hmm?
Kelly: Ooh.
Kelly: You know, you got yourself a good one. I mean, I'll admit -- I never thought Patrick would change his wicked ways.
Kelly: But that just shows how special you really are, Robin.
Robin: Oh -- I don't know about that.
Kelly: No, it's true.
Robin: Okay. Well, since I can't, uh -- Lainey? Take it away. Please.
Epiphany: Okay.
Lainey: All right.
Robin: Do me proud.
Lainey: Lick it --
Nadine: Wait -- lick it --
Lainey: Lick it. Slam it.
Epiphany: Ah -- mmm.
Lainey: Suck it.
Robin: Now one more for me.
Nadine: Not me. It's still really hard.
Coleman: Oh, you are a brave man, Dr. Drake. We who shall never walk down the aisle salute you now.
Patrick: Cheers.
Coleman: Yeah. Seriously though, man, I've never seen a guy who had so many chicks ready to do the horizontal boogie. You, uh, you really going to turn in them dancing shoes, man?
Patrick: You know, I love the game, Coleman, but I love Robin more.
Coleman: Aw.
Robin: Wow. How long did it take you to rehearse that?
[Patrick laughs]
Patrick: I meant every word. I love you.
Robin: I love you, too.
All: Aw!
Elizabeth: It's so cute!
[Cheering]
Lulu: If someone sent me these notes to make me worse --
Maxie: It means they want you stuck in this place. Would you stop that?
Spinelli: But -- I'm centering my chi, so I can eliminate unblemished thought.
Maxie: Well, I don't hear you coming up with anything useful.
Spinelli: That's because you blocked my flow.
Lulu: Okay, no, that's okay. Look, I need some time to think about this. We all do. Um, my therapist is coming in for a session soon, but there's something that I have to go do first, so --
Spinelli: I -- I vow I'll use all my power to discover the identity of the evildoer.
Lulu: Thank you. Both of you. You guys have helped me more than you know.
Lulu: Guess what? I think I'm finally getting better.
Maxie: Don't you go putting your lack of chi on me. Oh!
Trevor: I'm sorry I forgot to sign in properly, but with Lulu's condition on my mind, I got a lot going on.
Man: Completely understandable. Have a good visit.
Trevor: Thanks.
[Door shuts]
Woman: I wouldn't break out the champagne just yet.
Jax: Well, I'm prepared to make a very generous preemptive offer.
Woman: Well, given the prior claim to the property, the current occupant will have the right of first refusal.
Jax: Yes. How do we get around that part? I want to make sure that this deal goes through.
Nikolas: Hello.
Carly: Hey.
Nikolas: So those -- those contracts that make me 25% general partner in this hotel, they're all drawn up, if we could finalize it, I think --
Carly: It's not going to be that easy. See Jax and that woman? He's up to something.
Woman: I've never met Mr. Cassadine, but I imagine he's going to be very unhappy when you buy Spoon Island right out from under him.
Jason: Bernie -- just listen to me! I need to know what the hell is going on, okay? If Sonny goes through with this, I know it's going to trigger a retaliation. Actually, it's going to start a war that we're not ready for.
[Jason stammers]
Jason: This is a really bad time for you --
Claudia: Listen, trust me. You're going to want to hear what I have to say. It profoundly affects your future.
Jason: I already know your father's looking to make a deal with Sonny.
Claudia: What you don't know is that that deal has to go through me first.
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