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Posts: 3049
Jan 11, 2009 03:43
LG2MasterMod
[Sleigh bells jingling]
Lulu: Merry Christmas Eve.
Lucky: What are you doing here?
Lulu: Johnny had to work and I know Elizabeth and her grandma took the boys out of town, so I thought, I don't know, we could hang out, maybe order pizza?
Lucky: Yeah, well, not much of a Christmas celebration.
Lulu: You didn't have other plans, did you?
Lucky: Sadly, no.
Nikolas: Hello. I just dropped Spencer off. Mike's taking him to that hospital Christmas party.
Lulu: You're not going?
Nikolas: No. No, I'm not. You know how many times I watched Emily play an elf for those children? I'm just really not ready to go yet.
Lulu: Great, pizza for three.
Nikolas: Yeah.
Lulu: I got it.
Patrick: Hey, Robin, I got some eggnog lattes here.
Robin: Eggnog lattes? The apartment is a mess, the tree is half-decorated, my parents are going to be here any second, and let me guess -- you forgot to pick up the dessert that I ordered.
Patrick: I'll go back and get it.
Robin: No, you know what? It's Christmas Eve. They closed 20 minutes ago. But, hey, we've got eggnog lattes.
Edward: This house may be a holiday-free zone, but at least we can be miserable with the lights on.
Monica: Merry... whatever.
Tracy: What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be at the hospital Christmas party.
Monica: Well, I'm not going.
Tracy: You have to go, Monica. You're chief of staff, remember?
Edward: Why aren't you dressed for the holiday party, Tracy?
Tracy: I'm staying home.
Monica: Well, now, that's actually a reason for me to go.
Alice: Hey, time to get jolly, everyone. I've got eggnog and a tree.
Monica: Bah.
Edward: Hum.
Tracy: Bug.
Man: Worthless piece of junk. Why couldn't she have knitted me a pair of mittens like every other year?
Spinelli: Uh, excuse me?
Santa: Spinelli! There you are. I'm having trouble with this gadget that Mrs. Claus gave --
Spinelli: Not another step, demented intruder. I assure you, the Jackal is a master of -- of kung fu.
Santa: Young man, I know if each and every child on earth has been naughty or nice, so I also know who can do martial arts and who can't, so put your foot down and come take a look at this.
Spinelli: Can I? Oh, my God. Santa?
Santa: That's right. Now, I need your help and we don't have much time.
Santa: My reindeer are waiting on the roof of that fine establishment across the street.
Spinelli: The Metro Court Hotel?
Santa: Oh, I took a few carrots from the fridge. I hope you don't mind.
Spinelli: No, that's fine.
[Spinelli chuckles]
Spinelli: Oh. Dasher, Dancer, Prancer. Um, where's Rudolph?
Santa: It's a clear night for flying, so I left him at home. Any luck?
Spinelli: Oh, oh, right. Well, uh, it appears you've deleted an extensive amount of data.
Santa: Mrs. Claus gave me this as a gift, but I'm all thumbs when it comes to these new-fangled gadgets. Somehow or another, I erased the Christmas list for most of Port Charles. Okay, I'll be back at 11:59. You find out what everyone wants. And if you can fix this PDA while you're at it, there might be something extra in your stocking.
[Knock at door]
Spinelli: Oh, gosh, uh -- please, I beseech you, just remain stationary for about a moment. Oh, my gosh --
Maxie: The Paris emails finally came through --
Spinelli: Maximista is about to witness a Christmas event of epic proportions.
Maxie: Spinelli, how sweet. You put ornaments on the tree.
Spinelli: He's gone.
Maxie: Who, Jason?
Spinelli: No, Santa.
Maxie: And now you're pretending Santa was here?
Spinelli: He was here.
Maxie: Let me guess. This is all a build up. You're going to give me a cool present and say Santa gave it to you.
Spinelli: Ooh, look. He left his PDA.
Maxie: I already have a PDA.
Spinelli: No, this is Santa's PDA, but it's not functioning properly. He can't access the wish list of many Port Charles residents.
Maxie: Santa told you this?
Spinelli: And unfortunately, a cursory search suggested the data is irretrievable.
Maxie: You're saying Santa gave you that?
Spinelli: He -- he did. And he'll be back one minute before midnight to retrieve it. I cannot fail him.
Maxie: You really believe Santa was here?
Spinelli: He was.
Spinelli: See? He left his jacket.
Max: Merry Christmas. Sorry I'm late. Diane?
Diane: You know, it's the oddest thing. I was just standing here, looking up into the night sky, and right there, flying over Jason's building, I could have sworn I saw -- uh, never mind. Never mind. I guess I am just blissed out at the notion of spending Christmas with my guy at his home, wrapped in blankets, candles burning, carols playing, chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
Max: Yeah, well, maybe they'll even have them on the room service menu.
Diane: Room service?
Max: I booked us a room at the Metro Court.
Diane: This was supposed to be an "at home" Christmas. Specifically, your home, considering you extended the invitation.
Max: Unfortunately, there were complications.
[Diane clears throat]
Diane: Power failure? Leaky pipes?
Max: Out of town guests.
Diane: Guests?
Max: They're not exactly guests. They're more like, uh, business associates, if you get my meaning.
Diane: Heavy hitters?
Max: The heaviest. They're in town from Miami. They needed a place to lay low.
Diane: Well, then why can't you book them a room at the Metro Court?
Max: Diane, the boss asked me to put them up for the week --
Diane: The boss, the boss, the boss. You know what? Sonny, yes, is a selfish and demanding brute, but if you can't even stand up to him and tell him you want to spend Christmas in your home, with your girl -- I was just about to call myself "your girlfriend," but clearly you don't think of me that way.
Max: Diane, you know that --
Diane: Oh, you know what? You can just forget the puppy dog eyes. You don't want to spend Christmas with me, fine. I don't want to spend it with you.
Luke: Anybody order pizza?
Lulu: Dad? Hey.
Luke: Hi, baby girl.
Lulu: Hey. How much have you been drinking?
Luke: Not nearly enough, but the night is still young.
Nikolas: You do realize it's Christmas Eve tonight, right?
Luke: Yeah, where's your tree?
Lucky: I didn't get around to getting one.
Lulu: Well, Johnny is working at the Christmas tree lot. It's open until midnight. We could go over there.
Luke: You know what? Problem solved. Look outside.
Lulu: I got it. Yep, there's a tree in our driveway.
Nikolas: I'll bring it in.
Luke: How do you like that?
Lucky: What, you bought -- you bought a tree?
Luke: No, no, not exactly, no.
Lulu: You didn't steal it, did you?
Luke: Oh, come on, daughter, this is Christmas Eve, no. Check this out. I'm crossing the street, and this flatbed comes flying around the corner on two wheels, almost tipped over, but that piece of festive cargo just rolled off the back of the truck and right up to your door. Damn.
Lulu: Wow. Ooh.
Nikolas: I'm okay. I'm okay.
Lulu: It's perfect.
Nikolas: Okay, question -- why isn't anybody helping me?
Lucky: Because you're the eldest. All right, I'll give you a hand.
Maxie: Merry, Merry!
Spinelli: Yuletide greetings to all.
Lulu: Hi, you guys. Spinelli, you're very festive.
Maxie: Isn't he?
Luke: Where'd you get the Santa suit?
Spinelli: I procured it from Father Christmas --
Maxie: A costume store. There's lots of Santa suits there.
Lulu: So, I mean, if you guys want to be here, there's pizza if you want to eat with us.
Spinelli: Actually, Maximista and the Jingle Jackal have a very busy nocturnal schedule, so we must decline.
Maxie: Yeah, we're going around wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and asking what they are wishing for.
Lulu: You guys okay? You guys look really weird.
Spinelli: Fair Lulu, this is for you. It will guarantee you a very Merry Christmas.
Spinelli: Take it and enjoy in the spirit of the season.
Lulu: You're giving me a key.
Spinelli: Father Christmas does indeed work in mysterious ways.
Maxie: Okay, we have place to go, people to see, so Merry Christmas!
Spinelli: Bye.
Lulu: Merry Christmas.
Luke: Sure you don't want to stay for pizza?
Lulu: This is the weirdest thing Spinelli's ever done, if that's even possible.
Lucky: Well, who cares? We have a tree to decorate.
Nikolas: Yeah, where are the decorations at?
Lucky: In the attic. Come on.
Luke: I hate Christmas.
Lulu: On general principle or because you miss Mom?
Luke: Both, I guess.
Diane: You know, it's not as if I had unreasonable expectations. I just wanted a nice, casual Christmas. Hot toddies and some Christmas carols and a moderately expensive bauble or two. But I am shunted aside by Max so he can harbor fugitive Miami heat.
Bernie: Did you know that Hanukkah is a celebration of light?
Diane: Yeah. And then, he's got the nerve to look all wounded, all sweet and helpless. Well, mark my words. It's not going to work. I have spent many Christmases chalking up billable hours, and I can spend this Christmas exactly the same way. In fact, that's a great idea. I think I will redraft every contract I have on file for Sonny and charge him triple.
Bernie: Hanukkah also -- it symbolizes the triumph of faith over tyranny.
Diane: Well, sometimes one's faith does go unrewarded. Mine certainly did. I put my faith and trust in this big, handsome, flexible hunk, and he leaves me flat on what is arguably the most romantic -
Bernie: I'm sorry, I'm sorry -- so sorry. I thought you said that you left Max.
Diane: With my head held high. Walked away, left him in my dust.
Bernie: So you're the one who doesn't want to spend Christmas with him.
Diane: No, no. I mean, yes, I want to spend Christmas with Max. He just doesn't want to spend it with me.
Bernie: But how's he supposed to know that if you just walk out and leave him? Listen, I'm a widower, and, um, my family -- well, what's left of it -- is spread out all over. And there's no way we're going to spend this holiday together, but -- you know, illness and money problems. I am going to spend the day waiting for some sensitive material to arrive from Mr. Morgan.
Diane: I know. I'm sorry, Bernie. It never occurred to me that -
Bernie: No, no, no. I'm not asking for sympathy. I'm pointing something out, which is that every Hanukkah, everybody in my family lights the Menorah candles. It's really -- it's like a way of being together.
Diane: That's a lovely custom.
Bernie: So have you ever inquired about Max's customs? I mean, how does he like to spend the holiday?
Diane: I thought he wanted to spend it with me.
Patrick: I'll help you clean up, then.
Robin: I'm not cleaning. I'm looking.
Patrick: For what?
[Robin groans]
Robin: The necklace that my grandmother Filomena gave my mother on her wedding day, and then my mother gave it to me on our wedding day, and now I can't find it.
Patrick: Okay, well, then I'll help you look for it.
Robin: No, I have searched every inch of this apartment, and it is nowhere to be found.
Patrick: Robin, where did you wear it last?
Robin: I wore it when we went out to eat. And then we came home, I was holding Emma. She was crying. And then she kept trying to pull on the pearl, so I took it off and I put it somewhere.
Patrick: Well, where?
Robin: Obviously, I don't remember.
Patrick: Okay, well, chances are it's around here somewhere underneath all this mess.
Robin: Well, maybe there wouldn't be such a big mess if you would help me clean up every once and a while.
Patrick: I would help you clean up if you didn't burst into tears and bite my head off every single time I try.
Robin: Great. There's my mom and dad. Do not tell my mother that I can't find the necklace.
Robert: Ho, ho, ho!
Anna: Hi. Merry Christmas Eve.
Patrick: Nice to see you. How are you feeling?
Robert: I'm feeling great, and I'm grateful to be here for another Christmas.
Robin: Hi, Mom.
Anna: Hi, sweetie.
Robin: Merry Christmas Eve.
Robert: Hey, baby.
Robin: Hi, Daddy. Um, sorry about the mess, you guys. Just, you know, just kick your way through it.
Anna: Oh, it's not so bad.
Robin: Oh, it is. Thank you, you're being very nice.
Anna: Yeah, I am being nice. But it's fine for things to be a little bit messy because you've got a new baby. And she's only small for a little while, so you might as well enjoy it while you can.
Robin: The voice of experience.
Anna: You know who told me that? Filomena told me that. And she was absolutely right. Great advice. And that little pearl necklace of Filomena's would look great with that blouse.
Robin: Yeah, maybe. I'll put it on later. Dad, why don't you have an eggnog latte, and I'll get us some cheese and crackers.
Anna: You know what? It's Christmas Eve. Why don't we have desert first?
Robert: That's good thinking. If it's one thing I can identify with in the last year, it's to go for the sweet stuff first.
Anna: Yeah, go for the good stuff.
Robin: Well, there won't be any desert --
Robin: Because --
Patrick: Maybe that's Santa. Maybe he's got some figgy pudding.
Anna: Yeah.
Maxie: Merry Christmas!
Spinelli: Merry Christmas.
Anna: Oh, it is Santa. You're here early.
Spinelli: Oh, I'm just a humble representative of the fine fabled man, I mean --
Maxie: We're here to spread the holiday cheer. Does everybody know what they want for Christmas?
Spinelli: Oh, yes, yes, yes. Did the Drake/Scorpio clan comprise their Christmas list and check it twice?
Anna: Uh-uh.
Robin: We already have everything we need.
Spinelli: Well, allow me to contribute something to this night's festivities. Merry Christmas to the new mother.
Robin: Thank you, Spinelli. I didn't expect you to bring me a gift.
Maxie: Neither did I.
Spinelli: I can't take the credit, because this isn't my coat --
Maxie: Spinelli's extremely modest and gratitude makes him nervous, so Merry Christmas. Enjoy. Bye!
Anna: Okay, Merry Christmas.
Maxie: Happy holidays.
Anna: Thanks.
Robert: Ah, computer geeks. They're all crazy, you know, but you can't do a decent op without them.
Anna: No, that's true.
Patrick: What did he get you?
Robin: Uh, they look like Christmas cookies, but I'm almost afraid to try one.
Anna: Well, I'm not. Let me see.
Robin: Mom.
Anna: No, come on.
Robin: You don't know Spinelli very well.
Anna: How dangerous can they be? They're Christmas cookies, right?
Robert: Hmm?
Anna: Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Robin: Mom? Mom, are you okay?
Anna: You have to taste this.
Patrick: You know what? I'm sure Spinelli didn't mean any harm.
Anna: No, no, no, you have to taste this. Tell me what you think. Am I right?
Robert: Oh, yeah.
Anna: I know, right?
Robert: Oh, yeah, but it's not possible. It's not possible.
Robin: Well, what? What's not possible?
Anna: Darling, taste it. Please, taste it.
Patrick: No, no, no, no, no. I don't want Robin ingesting anything that came from Spinelli.
Robert: Oh, come on. Look, we're her parents. We wouldn't do anything to hurt her, come on.
Anna: Eat that. Tell me what it reminds you of. Go on.
Robin: What it -- okay.
Robin: That's impossible. She never even wrote down the recipe.
Patrick: Okay, is this some holiday ritual designed to keep the new son-in-law out of the loop here? What's going on?
Robin: These -- my grandmother Filomena, she used to bake the most amazing Christmas cookies. And she always promised me that she would give me the recipe, but she died before she could. I mean, I haven't had these since I was a little girl. And I don't know how they wound up in Spinelli's pocket, but these are definitely Filomena's Christmas cookies.
Lucky: Come on, why don't you help us, Dad?
Luke: You're doing fine.
Lucky: You know, I really don't know how Mom put up with you when she loved Christmas so much.
Luke: You have a good point. She did love Christmas. Man, I found that out the first Christmas we spent in Texas.
Lulu: What do you mean?
Luke: Well, it was cold. There was a real -- lot of snow, and we trudged all over the place looking for a tree because she had to have a tree. Finally, we found one. A scrawny little thing, but she wouldn't let me chop it down. So we went back to the house and we got all the ornaments, and we came back and we decorated it right where it was. And then, she looked at the top and she said if anything ever needed an angel to watch over it, it's this sad little tree. So we had to get in the car and ramble into town. There was only one store open. And he had, I kid you not, he had one treetop angel, and we were short like a buck and change. But your mother batted her eyes at him and worked her wiles, and he gave us the angel for free and said, "Merry Christmas." We went back to the little tree, we put it on the top, then she was happy.
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