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Posts: 3049
Jan 11, 2009 03:44
LG2MasterMod
Edward: Lila so loved these holiday traditions. She could hardly wait to put the tree up so she could look at it for weeks.
Monica: And Emily loved to help her decorate it.
Edward: The two of them were the heart and soul of this family, and I just can't bear to have a tree without them.
Tracy: Well, who needs it anyway?
Alice: Well, we're still going to have Christmas dinner, right? Argue about the menu for old time's sake? How about some Yorkshire pudding and roast beef?
Edward: No.
Alice: Cranberry and squab?
Monica: Hmm-mm.
Alice: How about whatever Mr. Luke would have wanted if you hadn't thrown him out on Christmas Eve?
Tracy: "Mr. Puke" is not Tiny Tim. And if he wants a crutch, hmm, he can get it any liquor store in town.
Alan: What a bunch of whiners.
Tracy: You are in no position to criticize. You're not really here.
Monica: Oh, come on. You are not going to have your chat with Alan. You can't possibly be that insensitive.
Tracy: You know, I don't know what I find more annoying -- the two of you bickering when he was alive or you mooning over him now that he's not. Your cue to leave.
Alan: Not until you tell Monica that I love her.
Tracy: You have something to tell Monica? Tell her yourself.
Monica: Tracy, will you stop it.
Spinelli: Yuletide greetings to the quarrelsome clan.
Edward: Oh, for pity's sake.
Tracy: Alice, throw him out.
Maxie: Well, that's just rude. Spinelli's only trying to spread the holiday spirit.
Tracy: Throw her out, too.
Alice: Look, you guys, maybe you should just --
Spinelli: Please, uh, cease and desist, dominator. You see, the Jingle Jackal is compelled by unseen forces.
Edward: You see? He admits it. He is a dangerous psychotic.
Maxie: Hey, Spinelli is a wonderful person.
Alice: Oh, just save it. Your tidings of comfort and joy are wasted on this den of scrooges.
[Sleigh bells jingling]
Spinelli: Please, you cannot turn the Jackal away until he's delivered his gift.
Robin: I guarantee you they are the best Christmas cookies you'll ever have.
Anna: Oops.
Robin: It's okay. There's plenty more.
Patrick: Robin.
Robin: What --
Patrick: Look what I found.
Robin: I looked under there three times.
Patrick: It was laying there by the cookie.
Robert: Isn't that the necklace that Filomena gave you on our wedding day?
Anna: Mm-hmm. I saved it to give to our daughter, and now you can give it to you daughter.
Patrick: And I will put it on you.
Robin: Okay. I know this is silly, but I think it's a sign.
Robert: You think?
[Robin laughs]
Robin: Well, everybody knows that I have a tendency to worry that good things won't last, but this necklace has been through many generations, from a village in Italy to New York City to Port Charles. It's here to stay and so are we.
Lucky: Well, these are the last of them, so if that angel is not in here, we're out of luck.
Nikolas: Well, if it's not, I can certainly go out and buy another one.
Lulu: No, we need Mom's angel. It wouldn't be the same.
Lucky: Well, this one feels empty and it's locked, anyway. You know what? Maybe Mom's angel got thrown out by mistake.
Lulu: This may be really weird, but, I mean, maybe Spinelli's key...
Lucky: I told you that one felt empty.
Lulu: Oh, my gosh.
Lulu: It's here.
[Phone rings]
Luke: Spencers'. Hello, darling. Merry Christmas to you. Well, as a matter of fact, we were just talking about you.
Spinelli: Well, no doubt this gift has special meaning for one of you.
Edward: Well, it's your gift, you boob. You should know who it's for.
Maxie: Careful, Mr. Quartermaine. You wouldn't want Santa to leave you off his Christmas list this year.
Edward: Listen, twerp, a man can be as grumpy as he --
Tracy: Oh, my God. The hospital Christmas party would be better than this.
Edward: For once I agree with you, Tracy.
Alice: Oh, well, wonders never cease. It's a Christmas miracle after all. I'll drive. Hey, you want to go with us, Dr. Q?
Monica: Actually, Alice, I would rather sit here and listen to the two of them babble on.
Edward: Suit yourself. No, and I'm going to drive.
Spinelli: Since the others have departed, the Jackal's gift must be for you.
Monica: I am not interested in a gift, thank you very much. No, what I was interested in is my in-laws getting out of here. Now they have and you can do the same. Bye.
Alan: Big mistake, Monica.
Maxie: Big mistake, Monica. You don't refuse a gift that comes from an open heart, no matter how weird or useless it might seem. 'Tis the season and all that.
Monica: I have nothing to celebrate this Christmas, okay?
Maxie: Lots of us have reasons to be miserable. I have a few of my own. The trick is to find something to be grateful for, even if it's a gift you weren't expecting and aren't sure what to do with.
Spinelli: Please? In the spirit of the season?
Alan: Just do it, Monica.
Monica: No, thank you.
Spinelli: You know, I'll just leave them under the tree in case you change your mind.
Maxie: Merry Christmas.
Spinelli: Merry Christmas.
Alan: Those glasses, they look familiar. I think that I threw a pair like those just as we were having one of our fights. I said that you needed glasses because you only saw what you wanted to see.
[Monica gasps]
Monica: Alan?
Alan: You can see me. You can hear me.
Monica: Is it really you?
Alan: Don't -- no, it's all right. It's all right.
Monica: How?
Alan: You don't ask how on Christmas.
Monica: I've never believed, really, in Christmas miracles. But if I were to get one, I'm so glad it's you.
Alan: Oh, Monica, you've had such a terrible time. You've suffered so many losses, but you're a fighter. Don't give up. You must do whatever it takes to go on with your life.
Monica: I don't know whether you are a ghost or I have finally just lost my mind, but at the moment, I don't care because you're standing right in front of me, the pompous ass you've always been.
[Monica laughs]
Alan: Pompous ass? I'm trying to help you.
Monica: What? By spouting meaningless advice?
Alan: Well, of course you would think it's meaningless because it came from me. And while we're on the subject, better pompous than promiscuous.
Monica: Oh, come on now, you cheated on me more than I ever cheated on you.
Alan: Oh, really? Let me give you a list. What about Rick Webber, Sean Donnelly, Pierce Dorman, my own nephew.
Monica: Oh, my God, I missed you so much.
Max: Maxie, you've got to help me.
Maxie: Max, you look upset. Is your dad okay?
Max: No, he's fine. He met a nice woman on the plane on the way back to Palermo. We could be looking at wife number seven here.
Maxie: No wonder you're upset. That's a lot of stepmothers for anyone to deal with.
Max: It's not my dad or his new girlfriend I'm worried about. It's Diane.
Spinelli: Has the brusque lady of justice been placed in peril?
Max: Only her heart. You know, we had all these plans for a romantic Christmas, but the boss needed to use my house for some out of town guests of the connected variety, so --
Maxie: Well, Christmas isn't about a specific place. It's about who you're with. The woman you love just wants to know that you want to be with her no matter where you are.
Spinelli: And to that end, the Jackal presents a solution to your yuletide dilemma.
Max: It's a pawn ticket.
Maxie: Merry Christmas!
Spinelli: Yeah, Merry Christmas, son of Maximus.
Diane: You know this was my Christmas present for the big lug, my Max. Warm heart, cold feet.
Bernie: Ms. Miller, would you like to sit down?
Diane: Oh, God, I'm such a bitch.
Spinelli: Festive greetings to all!
Bernie: Hi.
Maxie: Hi.
Bernie: Yeah, Bernie.
Maxie: Well, what are you doing here on Christmas Eve? Do I need to call Jason Morgan and tell him -
Bernie: No, no, Mr. Morgan didn't ask me to come. I volunteered.
Spinelli: Might the Jackal inquire as to why the typically tense lady of the law waxes tearful?
Diane: I was supposed to be spending Christmas with Max, but I bungled it.
[Cell phone rings]
Spinelli: Allow the Jingle Jackal to provide assistance.
[Cell phone ringing]
Spinelli: Call your beloved.
Diane: Excuse me?
Spinelli: Call him.
Max's voice: Diane?
Diane: Max? Max, where are you? Well, don't move. No, you stay right there. I'm on my way.
[Makes kissing noises]
Diane: Thank you, thank you. Oh, thank you, Mr. Grasshopper. Thank you, Bernie. And thank you, Maxie. Oh, I've got to hurry. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all.
Bernie: I'll never understand. She's the best lawyer that I have ever met. She's tough as nails. She strikes fear into the heart of opposing counsel. She doesn't bat an eyelash at capital charges. She goes to pieces over a bodyguard. Love is strange. I'm sorry, is there something I can do for you?
Spinelli: We're here to deliver a gift.
Bernie: Well, okay. Oh, how did you know? That's just what I was wishing for.
Spinelli: Happy Holidays.
Maxie: Happy Hanukkah.
Diane: Oh, Max, chestnuts.
Monica: I always wondered how you managed to be chief of staff and then I found out you didn't.
Alan: I had that hospital running like a top.
Monica: Ah, no, you didn't, not at all. I've gone through all your records, and they are riddled with inconsistencies.
Alan: Oh, and you think you could do a better job?
Monica: Oh, I already am. I've hired a new specialist. I've expanded the budget for the surgical wing.
Alan: I can't believe you have such a God complex. I mean, you've always thought that you are the greatest cardiologist in the world.
Monica: And you have always been jealous of the fact that I can perform surgery.
Alan: I was a great surgeon until I ruined my hand trying to save your life.
Monica: After you tried to kill me.
Alan: Beside the point. You were cheating on me in my own house.
Monica: It's my house, Alan.
Alan: I gave it to you.
[Christmas music plays]
Alan: Merry Christmas, Monica.
Monica: Merry Christmas, Alan.
Max: It's just a little something.
Diane: That's incredible. Where did you find that?
Max: I probably shouldn't tell you, but it came from a pawn shop.
Diane: Well, now it comes from you.
Spinelli and Maxie: Jingle bells jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh hey jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh
[Bernie recites Hebrew blessings]
Robin: I love you.
Patrick: Merry Christmas.
Robin: Merry Christmas.
Luke: And the angel has landed.
Lucky, Nikolas, and Lulu: Merry Christmas, Mom. We love you.
Luke: You hear that? Merry Christmas, darling.
Maxie and Spinelli: Jingle bells jingle all the way oh what fun
Maxie: Santa? It really is you.
Santa: Maxie Jones, how kind of you to help Spinelli.
Spinelli: I'm afraid Santa is mistaken. Though I was able to fix your PDA, little more was accomplished.
Maxie: Yeah, we only made it to three houses, and we didn't find out what everyone wanted for Christmas.
Santa: Hello, I'm Santa Claus. I already know what everyone wants for Christmas.
Spinelli: Then what was the true purpose of the Jingle Jackal's mission?
Santa: It takes a very special person, one who's generous and good and true, to see into people's hearts.
Spinelli: Thank you, sir. I suppose you need this back. If the photo function on your PDA is working, might the Jackal be so bold as to maybe snap a picture?
Santa: Ho-ho-ho, of course.
Spinelli: Okay.
Maxie: Here, wait.
Santa: Gather round.
Maxie: Okay, ready.
Spinelli: You too, Maxie. Okay.
Santa: Say "gingerbread."
Santa, Spinelli, and Maxie: Gingerbread!
Spinelli: Oh, might Mr. Claus hang around for some refreshments? We have milk and cookies.
Santa: Thank you, but I have some restless reindeer and a very long night ahead of me. Merry Christmas!
Spinelli: Come here.
Maxie: It's -- it's midnight. I have to visit Mac in the station.
Spinelli: Thanks for accompanying me tonight. Your presence was the shining star of my journey.
Maxie: Spinelli, Santa was right. You really are generous and good and true.
Spinelli: 'Tis I, the Jackal.
Maxie: Okay, I thought I was having a really wild dream, and then I woke up and there was a gift by my bed.
Spinelli: I've received a gift as well.
Maxie: You have to open it, Spinelli.
[Sleigh bells ringing]
Spinelli: Our picture with Santa.
Maxie: You were right about everything.
Spinelli: There truly is magic in this world, Maximista.
Maxie: And I'm glad we got a chance to share it.
Spinelli: Merry Christmas, Maxie.
Maxie: Merry Christmas, Spinelli.
Maxie and Spinelli: Merry Christmas, everyone.
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